it’s 11:11.
today is the last day that i am going to allow myself to cause harm to a very important individual. that individual being me. i’m not one to go on and on about my self esteem, but it is very, very low at this point in time. i feel as though i need a change of scenery, and i’ve been saying this exact same, ‘i need a change’ on a weekly basis, but tonight i’ve just realized that i don’t have anything to prove to anyone but myself. these past four months have been a roller coaster for me. i have to say, everything started out great, then something happened three quarters of the way through. i feel like i’m dying. i feel like i’m not good enough. i just feel terrible, essentially. my life literally has no direction right now. sleep, work, course work, occasional hangout, repeat. my life was engulfed by this one thing. this one person. why, oh why am i so naive?
this is why i don’t get attached to people. this is why i don’t reply to texts. this is why i don’t like when people are infatuated with me.
i cannot hurt others, yet all the pain i feel is self-inflicted.
end rant.
forty-two minutes. forty-two minutes until a new beginning.
my writing is so repetitive.
